Well. I have the perfect solution:
In n Out's number 1 combo, protein style. Yup. The ultimate health food is a lettuce-wrapped burger, fries and a coke.
Stay with me, here. It's got enough red meat to make the paleo eaters happy without a big, bad, industrialized, overprocessed white flour bun. The lettuce and tomato on the burger are raw, and you know what that means ... unadulterated micronutrients, people! Add a few pitta-extinguishing french fries and an happiness-inducing/energy-boosting coke and you've got a meal worthy of its own food pyramid.
(As you might have noticed, I manage to find the health properties in foods our experts overlook...)